"... without IVF, your chance is less than 2%..."
"... without IVF, your chance to conceive is less than 2%..." that's what the ObGyn said to me trying to persuade me to go down the IVF route... and I remember feeling depressed about it.
The thing is, 2% may sounds like a good enough chance for anyone with infertility problem, but the thing is, the 2% chance I got is AFTER I took medications and other lesser treatments... if left naturally, my chance to conceive will be.. well.. 0%
"you're just throwing money away..." the doctor said when I wanted to just keep going with hormone injection and monitoring..
Fast forward to today, I have 2 healthy, active boys (age 7 and 4 years old), and I want to share my story on how I go from that almost nonexistant chance to the kids I got today.. without IVF!
Since my teenage years, I always knew that there is something unique about me. Whereas girls my age started getting their periods, learning about tampons and stuff... it never happened for me..
At that time, I was very flippant, thinking that it was a good thing!! I never had to deal with cramping each month, I was free to do sports or swim every single day of the month without worry, and best thing: I don't have to spend a FORTUNE on tampons!! YAYY!!!
Somehow, I never did think about what's gonna happen if I wanna have a baby.... not yet.
I first saw my specialist when I was about 15 yrs old, and she assured me that when the time came, she can helped me get pregnant.. so I took assurance in that
After I marry my husband (yes, he knew about my conditions beforehand), we went to see the doctor again and started the whole range of tests/procedures/vitamins shots etc to start getting pregnant.. The test revealed that I am 100% non fertile - easily rectified - hormone injection will help me overcome that...
BUT.. turns out my husband fertility is also not 100% - its quite normal tho - but combined with my conditions.. that resulted in less that 2% chance of conceiving...
We tried many many many treatments, our savings plummetted, all our energy are focused in having a baby... yet, each month the disappointment came.. each month the heartbreak came... the despair was always there. After so many failed attempts, the doctor suggested IVF....
Now, both me and my husband are Catholic, and as enticing as IVF is... our faith doesnt allow for that, and I felt in my heart that I cannot or won't go down this route. [Note: I am not writing this for debating whether IVF is right or not.. or to attacked anyone that does go down the IVF route.. but this is purely my belief and opinion]
So we do other things!! We prayed.. A LOT.. to a lot of saints, do a lot of ritual prayers, anytime I enter a new church I prayed there, I lit candles.. I fasted.. I do everything I can think of.
We took a lot of vitamins - chinese medicine, english medicine, other herbal or fruits or anything that was said to improve fertility... I even ordered a bottle of pure goji berry juice to drink every morning..
We went to other doctors in the hope that someone else might have better answers that doesn't involve IVF.. but none held the answers...
In the end, after many discussion and heart searching, me and hubby decided, lets give it a try one more time... only hormone injection (at least that will bring me to fertility just like any other normal woman).. and lets leave the rest up to God. To be honest, at that time, the future seems very bleak to me and I cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel... only one thing I held fast: "God KNOWs what He is doing in my life... if children are not on the agenda for me.. so be it"
Guess what?? That was the month I finally conceived!!! At first, I didn't think so... when I went in for my blood test then the nurse called me to say Congratulations for the pregnancy.. I laughed! Not out of happiness but out of disbelief.. because my body is saying otherwise! I was fully sure she called the wrong person or reading the wrong result.... but she just told me to come in the week after for another blood test. I didn't think much of it (I think I was afraid to hope... in case I got hurt again.. ) The next week came, and this time .. its a 100% sure that I am pregnant!! WOOHOOO!!!
2 weeks after that, for the first time I saw my baby's heartbeat in the monitor... and 9 months after that, the little bundle of joy was placed in my arm screaming and kicking letting the whole world know of his arrival!! 3 years after that, a second bundle of joy arrived and joined our family....
And.. that is my story. If you are reading this, I hope this gives you encouragement if you are in the same position that I was before..
If you are infertile like me or have problem conceiving and is considering to go down the IVF route, it is not my place to advise you of what to do, but I hope my story can give you inspiration and keep you strong during the struggle.. and I hope you remember just one thing.. that God (whether you believe in Him or not) .. He knows the BEST time to bless you.. He knows the BEST way to bless you...
Lots of love,